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I hid for a long time, avoiding triggers till I had no place to go and nothing much to do that didn't feel dangerous. I had no idea what was happening. It seems to be the way a lot of folk go. They hit a crisis point where it all gets too much, but they have no idea why or what or how, all they know is they're chewing their own foot off or not going outside. Hitting rock bottom was the worst, but it was also when everything changed for the better. That was when I got help.